Match Report | Chew Magna Cricket Club |  Somerset | England | UK
Last Updated 23rd Jan 2019, 12:05:13

Match Report

1st XI v Street (H)

Saturday, 9th August 2003
Somerset Cricket League
Division 1

The visit of Street brought back memories of the mother of all stuffings that we on the wrong end of back in June. If I remember rightly, we were turned over for 44 and they knocked them off for 1 in 18. Without doubt the heaviest defeat for any Chew side of recent years. Today was our chance to put the record straight and put up a proper Chew Magna display. This we did when Iain won the toss and put them in! Didn't he know it was 120 degrees in the shade? Had the sun got to his walnut? Or was there a cunning plan to this madness? Of course there was. Iain duly advised us that we were likely to score more points batting second. Ahh, that's OK then.

All the bowlers went to the tap for extra liquid refreshment and wide brimmed hats were handed out to all and sundry. On the field the heat was pretty impressive, enough to produce a well crisped meringue I should wager. Still we all took up our positions as battle commenced.The Oz opened up from the pavilion end and swung and seamed as usual, not always on the line of off peg I might say. I threw down my usual pies from the tree end boring the opener with my measly line and length. After 4 overs he woke up, had a big swing at an outie and was caught low down by the Dickie. Painful at the best of times!

At the other end Steve (other opener) was swishing and missing at almost everything outside off stump, but punishing all the leg side offerings. In the 12th over the new batsmen (S-t-r-e-t-c-h, I think his name was) slashed at a wide long hop and miss timed to Bung at point. Amazing how wide long hops seem to pick up wickets. Why is this? Answers on a post card to

Anyway, 62 for 2 off 12 and time to bring in two more slips. Well the heat really was hot and Lockies asbestos hat was back in the pavillion. After 8 overs I dropped to floor exhausted waving a white flag, "just a couple more Art?" said Lockie, my reply isn't printable, but should you be curious to know what I did say it's in my new book 'Confessions of Trundler'. Meanwhile with tumble weed rolling in from the desert forming in cow corner, Street were making hay. Andy 'Bubbles' Bartlett came in and began stroking the ball to all parts. Locky had a quick go from the tree end, but was replaced by Ken. Andy took over from the Oz who had bowled 12 straight. (That's balls, not overs) Sorry mate, that one just slipped out. Although the Street batsmen were set, the run rate didn't increase. Andy had the opener caught at cover by the flying Bung and Ken tied things down at the tree end.

As we reached the last 10 we all thought the slog was coming, but it didn't. Andy got another bowled and then there was a run out. 189 for 5 coming to the last 5 overs. Bartlett on 50 and some big hitters to come. 240 you might suspect? Not a chance. 'Bring on the bunny boiler!' shouted the crowd. Locky duly called Muddy to the fray. He had been kicking the grass at long off for such a long time we have since had to re-seed. Well Muddy didn't disappoint, down came the Bassetts, and the Street boys had no answer. One down the leg, one down the off, next a long hop, then a full toss. Batting against this onslaught is not easy, no one has a clue where its going. But as someone said to me years ago, 'don't forget son, get the beamer in early' Muddy's 3 overs cost only 14 runs and no boundaries. Ken toiled away at the tree end and finished with respectable figures. I have no idea what they are, but I've heard somewhere that they were pretty good.

The final 217 for 5 looked OK, but probably should have been 240. This encouraged us as we trooped off to tea. Such was the heat that some of us had lost several pounds. Ken and Andy must have found a shady spot because they seemed just the same as when we started. Apart from Andy crawling off that is. Wait, no, he's sprinting, what you may ask is occurring? Read on for the gory details.

Our innings started with a bang. First the toilet door, and then a classic square cut from the Bung crashing into the advertising hoardings. The Street openers, S-t-r-e-t-c-h and Vince bowled some reasonable stuff. First to go was Dickie, who couldn't quite get his stick, err that's bat, onto a leg side wide and was lbw. Either that or the ump was wiping away some sweat from his tortured brow. Then S-t-r-e-t-c-h struck from the tree end. The Bung in full flow edged to the keeper, who passed it to slip, who juggled it several times before holding on for the prescribed 3 seconds.

In came the mighty Ken. Fresh from his match winning knock versus BK. He looked in good touch to start, but he too had a most un-Kenlike swish at a S-t-r-e-t-c-h delivery and was caught at slip. 34 for 3 after 10 and a few bottom lips were starting to go in the home dressing room. Enter Andy Witcombe, run machine. Surely he could get the runs? Too right sports fans he did get the runs. Either the weather or last nights dodgy kebab had done some serious mischief to his machinery. Whatever it was, he had to come off after only a few overs and retire to the WC for major plate tectonics. In came the Oz, who earlier had actually said 'Jeeze boys, it's a bit hot today' So there we are, irrefutable proof that it was scorchio at Chew. The Oz being accustomed to the heat looked very good, and with Locky who had replaced AW, they put on a few before Oz crashed a cover drive to the only man on the fence in front of the wicket. Sucker punch that one.

Next in was the "Pharaoh" king Buck the III . Ali dropped to the 2's last week for looking too cool, responded with a match tying 42 runs, 2 wickets, a run out, 3 catches, umpired 45 overs and packed the bag. Top effort that. After that display he was back in the 1's, Either that or Locky was short on snout, no ones sure.Well King Buck playing sensibly at first, gaining confidence, and finally looking the part of imperial ruler, put on a shed load with the skipper. The run rate was 5 an over but we were getting that with ease. The spinners came on, and were dispatched to all parts. Street were looking down that well known barrel of ours, and they didn't like the view. (AW coming out of the WC) sorry Wit, I had no choice.

We were on top for the first time since the captains spun the coin. 42 to win off 10 overs with 6 wickets in hand. A breeze you might think. Well yes it should be, but such is our talent for keeping the crowd guessing, that things were about to turn ugly. Yes that's right, Warren turned up. No wrong, wrong and wrong again. Wickets began to tumble. The obvious bowling change happen. Off went the spinners and on came S-t-r-e-t-c-h and Higgs. Now for those with memories, Higgs destroyed us at Street with some top swing bowling. Were we about to suffer the same fate? Well yes we were. Not from so much swing, but accurate line and length stuff. S-t-r-e-t-c-h was still coming in a trying to break heads, but even that was hard to hit. We scored 5 runs off 3 overs and the rate began to climb. Then disaster struck! Locky, who had played some top stuff, got out playing at a wide one. (see Ken's dismissal for a replay) Then Ali who had played his innings of the season went bowled to Higgs for 50(jug) with just 20 needed. Oggy came in and tried to pierce the ring but without success. The runs came in ones and twos and the rate climbed to 6 then 7 and finally we needed 13 off the last over. With some swishing and missing we got it to 9 off 2 balls and CJ was bowled. Game, set and match to Street.

The way they celebrated you had the feeling they knew they had been in a fight. However they came out on top, and we were left to reflect on what should have been. The teams below us all won and we are back in the danger zone once more, so extra effort next week at Welly. Watch this space sports fans for the next exciting installment of 11 go mad in Somerset. PS I will find out how the run machine is and let you all know.

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